I was told the true definition of a man was to never cry
Work till you tired (yeah) got to provide (yeah)
Always be the rock for my fam, protect them by all means
(and give you the things that you need, baby)
Our relationship is (suffering) trying to give you (what I never had)
You say I don’t know to love you baby
Well I say show me the way
I keep my feelings (deep inside I)
Shadow them (with my pride eye)
I’m trying desperately baby just work with me.

And in that moment I lost you.💔

I knew this moment would happen, and it finally came. It was expected I was Prepared for it, but why do I feel like I wasn’t prepared for anything? I guess because when you truly care about someone, and I don’t mean that puppy love stuff. 
 I mean that real feeling where you care for every aspect of their life, or think of their safety being harmed in any type of scenario. Example You’re both on the Phone talking and their driving home all of a sudden the phone call gets dropped, and you think what just happened??? Bad service, no did they get into a car accident please no, or did I cause you to get pulled over because I had to speak to you while you were driving I’m such an asshole… No maybe T-Rex was chasing you like the Jurassic park scene. 
 You get my point that’s the Kind of care I’m talking about you wanna make sure every single moment of their days go the way they want with a smile on every second and you knowing they are Safe.
 I’m upset but then again I’m Completely happy for her she deserves to Keep doing what she has been doing she needs to Fight for her Dreams. 
 Because few that go After their dreams they rarely actually fight she has a heart of a lion she’ll keep fighting. Yea I’m gonna miss you, but I knew from the start nothing was holding you back why would I try to? 
 The Best thing I could do Is encourage and push her away rather than leave these feelings to keep Meeting from opposite ends of the Country without as much as a physical Handshake that’s torturous to both Sides. I regret nothing though Because she gave me back what I thought I lost which was My heart for Romance. I’ve never been the type to just date and move on to the Next so if I wasn’t with anyone I was Alone for a while.
Before this story I got out of a long relationship where it ended badly and after that planned on being Alone and becoming Cold hearted; I was in a dark place. Then you stepped into my path not in the Best way, but I’ve gotten past that awkward fact.
You lit everything up wherever you were I was infatuated with everything about you. Yet I could not have you then time went on and we found each other doing what we knew was forbidden, but I didn’t care because in that moment I wanted all of you. From your mind, body, and soul I wanted to explore your entire self being. I wanted to show you how much I would grow to care for you only hoping you would do the Same.
More time passed by and it showed in such little time that even though we were both lonely we cherished a friendship from opposite parts of the Country to keep it going. I promised I wouldn’t give up and if I make that promise I will keep it you need to trust me. I will be faithful in the process I will keep your trust. “The most amazing people are the easiest to keep”- said no one Ever.
You’re amazing in my Eyes I’m really happy we met. The first time I kissed you . One kiss, I was Hooked, addicted to you like a drug. I could never Like anyone the way I like you. I’d follow you across the World if you let me. Id be you’re Jonathan coyle as long as you wanted to be my nat Eva Marie, or the peanut Butter to My protein Shake I know I’m cheesy as hell, but you do this to me haha. Im not mad though it makes me smile in a way. Anyway I just really hope this all works out someway somehow; because you’re honestly one of my BestFriends aside from my Family in such little time. I already miss you.